Lovemaking should be enjoyable for both partners, and getting things started should also be equal. If your partner is used to taking the lead and initiating sex, imagine how surprised they'll be when you take charge!

If you're having trouble getting in the mood, have a look at your surroundings. Since the bedroom is the most common place for couples to make love in, it's important to make sure it has the right atmosphere.

Computers, unfinished work reports and pictures of the kids can all diminish the desire for sex, so find another room to house them in. And remember, scented candles, bed linen and romantic music can all go a long way to enhancing your lovemaking.

A massage can be as sensual or as sexual as you like. Grab some massage oil and start with long languishing strokes. Begin at your partner's shoulders and work your way down the body, brushing lightly over the genital area and inner thigh. For a more sexual massage, use your body instead of your hands for a full-body experience that is sure to drive you both crazy.

According to American sex therapist Dr Ruth Westheimer, the number-one rule for better sex is communication. While you might feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about your sex life, Dr Ruth says the initial embarrassment is worth the pay-off. Talk about what you like and don't like about your sex life, and don't be afraid to bring up suggestions for new and different things. However, make sure you don't initiate this conversation when you're about the have sex, or in the middle of it - you might end up spoiling the mood.

We're not suggesting that you spend the entire day under the sheets (although that's fine if you both want to) but make lovemaking a full-day experience. Start in the morning with a lingering kiss instead of the usual peck before heading to work, and throughout the day phone or SMS your partner to let them know what's in store when you both get home from work. When you get home, don't dive straight into it - instead continue the foreplay with massage, sexy underwear and erotic talk.

The most important thing to remember is that sex is supposed to be fun. Experiment with toys, lingerie and lubricants - anything that makes the experience of lovemaking more fun.

In a recent survey conducted by Johnson & Johnson, 51% of people who use lubricants said they used them for added sexual enjoyment. Some new lubricants on the market have a warming effect which can provide added pleasure during lovemaking. In fact, three out of four people who have used K-Y® Brand Warming Liquid say it makes 'sex better'. (source: K-Y® Brand Consumer study 2002 conducted in the US.)